This post was originally published on Medium
Do you ever wonder why, in the midst of massive solar flares and increasingly powerful ascension changes, you’re not “feeling the energy shifts”?
It’s okay to admit that you sometimes wonder if you’re missing something or if you’re not “spiritual” enough to be making the shift. (I wonder, too, sometimes.)
But I think there’s probably a more accurate reason.
First, a little backstory.
Feeding your demons (a.k.a. Your shadow)
I’m taking an online course through the OmniChakra community group on Mighty Networks. It’s about all kinds of different spiritual aspects, experiences, and such, organized by chakra. We’re on the sacral chakra this week, and one assignment was to do this meditation called “Feeding Your Demons.”
Sounds scary, right? It’s really not.
You know all those things you shove down and hide away in that secret inner closet or the dark caves of your soul? The shadowy things you’ve been told aren’t safe or socially acceptable or are somehow bad? Those shadowy aspects are your “demons.”
We have this connotative response to the word demons, mostly based on middle age mythology and writings. But in this case, it’s really just the hidden aspects of you that sometimes self-sabotage to “keep you safe” and sometimes keep you from expressing who you really are.
Anyway, this meditation was amazing. It’s an integration exercise where you meet this shadow side and find out what it truly wants and needs. By giving it what it needs it is able to transform into an ally who is able to support and help you.
It’s very reminiscent of TBM’s Shadow module (which is a fabulous program, too – highly recommended for gently transforming and integrating your shadow aspects – which is highly useful for manifestation, by the way.)
If you want to try the “feed your demon” meditation, you can watch it here (the meditation starts around 8 minutes into the video):
Discovering the wall
So, in this meditation, I realized that I had built up a wall around my energy. It looked like a stone wall built with giant rocks, and I understood that this was both protecting me AND blocking me.
Later that day, one of my tarot or oracle cards was about allowing the walls to be dismantled because I was already protected by my angels and guides. Talk about confirmation…
Knowing that, this morning during meditation, I knocked the walls down and imagined each stone turning to light.
It was pretty amazing to feel a sense of lightness come over me as they disappeared. It wasn’t this massive moment where suddenly I felt 10 pounds lighter or something, but I could tell there was a shift. And, I’m sure this is going to be a regular maintenance thing for a while.
Understanding why I’m not “feeling it” (and why you might not be, too)
As I was journaling later, my highest light self told me that the reason I don’t always feel the energy shifts and the ascension symptoms as strongly as some is because they are mitigating the effects. There is so much I already must do, and they act as a buffer for some of the heavier energies, allowing them to integrate more easily so I’m not overwhelmed.
What?!
That kind of floored me. And then I got all teary eyed because I realized how loved and protected I am. Even when I’m not aware.
So, you’re not feeling all the energy shifts and their symptoms?
Perhaps you, too, are being protected by your higher selves and your guides to smooth the way.
Maybe you have work to do, and they know it, so they’re trying to clear the way for you to get it done.
It’s not that you’re not worthy (you are).
It’s not that you’re not good enough (you are).
It’s not that you’ve missed the boat (you cannot miss what’s meant for you).
It’s not that you’re broken (those cracks let the light shine through… and you’re beautiful).
It’s that you’re loved.
Seen.
Held.
Protected.
Loved (yes, again. Heaven knows we need the reminder.)
I hope that soothes some of the worry or confusion. Even if it’s just a reminder that you’re not alone.
And maybe take some time today and either try the “feed your demon” meditation (because I’m pretty sure my fears of “not feeling it” are shadows of not being good enough… and maybe yours are, too), or just ask your guides or highest light self why you’re not feeling it. See what comes through.
May you be blessed knowing you are seen, held, and much loved.
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